Sunday, December 14, 2008
THE AUDIO FILE ABOUT THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN A PERSUADER TO ME
Isn't it kind of amusing ?? See it from the perspective of someone who had just quarelled with the greatest persuader of her life, her Mother.
A PERSUASIVE MAIL TO A FRIEND
Being humble is right but it doesn't imply lowering down one's own self confidence. The things would have been right if it was a matter of just appreciating someone who has done a job efficiently. No...But it isn't.. The kind in which many of Pagalguys appreciate ParulBajaj full of dreams and envy is ridiculous. IIMB isn't God's abode. And she hasn't become the queen of the Pagalguy world by that. You people have also made her feel like a Proud Princess of Madcity....She has become insane and the example is attached herewith. Kindly read it. It was a post which was removed by the Moderators and according to me the best post on PG made by anyone. It would have been greater if that reply would have been given by some common person like us instead of an IIMBite.
Now, for PCN people, this mail I wrote to my friend on May 13, 2008 who was disappointed after getting 96 percentile twice in CAT. I think it has been the most hard tried attempt from my side to persuade somebody.
The net result was postive, the guy got persuaded but he started a bit disliking me for being too blunt and forwarding the same mail to three other friends as well. I at that time thought what is the need of customizing the mail to meet the requirements of other friends. And he disliked his weaknesses being discussed as an example. I accept that I had been too sharp and somewhat insensitive. But anyways.
Pagalguy is a community site for MBA students where they share the information and resources. At that time they could also interact with each other through group chatting on Shout Box.
CHETAN BHAGAT's SPEECH AT SYMBIOSIS
Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune
By Chetan Bhagat
Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.
Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.
I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.
To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.
Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.
Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.
I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.
One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.
Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.
Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.
Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.
I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
THE ASSIGNMENTS IN THE COURSE
The presentations of the text were as well sometimes good. The groups were streching a simple arguement, just for the sake of speaking it as they knew it.
There should have been less amount of data and lesser number of slides. A concise summary in 10-15 lines should have been told about each chapter that could have been very easier for us to pay attention to and memorize.
The Great Persuader Presentations went well, but there should have been more questions raised by the audience in it and the input from group members in terms of putting in their own skills was lacking.
The evaluation of of the best group based on voting and all groups voting for themselves and a win by a margin of single vote, didnt sound as an example of pragmatism.
Besides the classroom tasks given were quite interesting and innovative. First lecture out of the two has always been a real pleasure to attend. In second one, to maintain the momentum input from the instructor should have been there during the presentations, that well came during the later part of the course.
On the whole, class participation, group tasks, audio recording, interview preparation (kind of silent persuasion to the employer to take you), blogging all have done value addition and have been a great fun.
I put my sincerest thanks to the instructor for making this course such an interesting journey to sail through.
PERSUASION & NEGOTIATION IN ELECTIONS
Smt. Sheila Dixit did the job well so nicely third time in a row. Her election campaign was based on the facts related to the development and prosperity ushered during her regime. The demolitions done by MCD and terrorism were blown by the opponents but they didnt have back up data to substantiate the fact that how the ruling party was responsible for terrorism. Niether they could prove how was it wrong by state government to demolish the unauthorized constructions.
Smt. Vasundhara Raje lost the ground in Rajasthan. Conflicts between the party could be one of the reasons for it. The task of mass persuasion becomes ineffective in such cases when you lack in peer support or proper commucation between various persuaders persuading for the common goal is not there.
FINDING MOVIE DASVEDANIYA AS A UNIQUE EXAMPLE OF SELF PERSUASION
Yes, it is the most effective form of persuasion that comes with self realisation and the person becomes motivated himself. So it can be said that persuasion done to us by our inner voice is self persuasion.
In the movie Dasvidaniya, the central character Mr. Amar Koul shatters to ground when he comes to know that his stomach ulcer is cancer. He is desparate. He doesn't know what to do. His hopes have shattered. Then his inner voice guides him, to do all those things which he ever wanted to do in his last three months of life.
He wants to get a new car, learn guitar, have a foreign trip, meet his friend Rajiv Julka, meet his lost love Neha Bhanot, get his photograph on the first page of newspaper, make boss of his boss, find love, pay regards to his Mumma and love to brother Vivek.
A potrait of him emerges from him that suggests him to make a list of all these activities and to do them one by one. The potrait or his image comes in the movie to guide him or to talk to him for about 5-6 times. And he gets persuaded, motivated to find happiness for himself. He ends up doing all the ten tasks for himself.
MIND HAVING A STROLL OUT OF PERSUASION CLASS
I wrote in a line "The Moon and the stars having a party in sky".
But the thought didn't end there. It made me wander out of the class mentally while signs of physical presence in the class were there during the text presentations.
That time I pondered over what kind of party do the stars going to have a particular night. I rememered the last night, when Moon looked so nice. And I was listening the song on my laptop, "Do Sitaron Ka Zameen Pe Hai Milan Aaj Ki Raat, Saari Duniya Nazar Aati Hai Dulhan Aaj Ki Raat". Meaning, that two stars are meeting on earth tonight, whole world seems a bride tonight. And then pen moved to the creation of this verse.
A Star is Getting Wed Tonight
At one hour past noon, I remember the lovely night of full moon
When two long lost stars would come across
They are parted since ages
Wandering and wandering lost in mazes
Tonight the labyrinth would be lit by moon
They would meet their beloved soon
The world would be asleep drunk deep
The inquisitive moonlight into the veil of little star shall peep
To everyone her glowing face would be seen
Blushing they and a twinkling scene
Invitations would be send far and wide
Pandit Moon Shastri would get up, wear Dhoti and put Pyjama aside
Mrs. Moon shall pack his bag quickly
On the chariot of wind, moon would travel swiftly
The two stars wait eagerly and patiently
All the others get themselves in jobs tidily
Some moulding mending clouds as tents
Some arranging themselves in constellations
Some making clusters to dance
Some accompanying the bride while others the groom
The bride shall move sheepishly
The groom would be perplexed whether to hold or could show his anxiety
The Pole star would be seeing and blessing the ceremony from there itself
Pandit moon has now arrived
One constellation now blows Shehnai
Moon Jee recite hymns and mantras
The stars exchange vows to be together ever
The sky is filled with the claps’ clatter
The little star would now shift her place
She would move to her husband’s constellation
Her mates would miss her
They would tell themselves she is in the same sky
But she still wants herself to be a part of their ceremonies and sorrows
With moist eyes she pleads, “Don’t forget me”
Her mother consoles her
“Darling whenever you see a flash this side, do decipher we miss you”
She moves with groom party
The diligent starts shall wipe the sky floor
Clouds would be wrapped and put in a corner
Now the first ray of dawn shall peep in
It would yawn and say; “Oh! I missed the party again”.
Then I could just hear; "Now we will quickly wrap the session".